I saw a disturbing movie one afternoon. It
is about a girl who bottles up abuse she has suffered and how it causes her to
spiral out of control.
This ladies and gentlemen might be the
reason I am my own therapist:
I did not get the Memo:
Women please hush
Do not
speak
Seen and not heard
No one wants to listen or cares
Sadly as I flit around via social media it
appears too many women did. "I am sorry for posting" is a line that I have read
dozens if not hundreds of times.
Sorry for posting? Why???
Posting in social media is what we are
supposed to be doing. Long before everyone had picture phones what else could
we do?
Now of course we all know people who talk
too much. There are things that it is perfectly fine to leave unsaid.
The old adage if you cannot say anything nice keep your mouth closed is also a beauty.
The old adage if you cannot say anything nice keep your mouth closed is also a beauty.
When however it comes to matters of thought
and opinion, you are entitled to yours and to give them at least a moment of
voice.
Maybe be choosy about who you share your
ideas with. Maybe limit yourself to time or place.
Just do not live under a gag
rule.
Give yourself permission to be expressive.
You might not want to use words.
Use
pictures.
Use color and fashion.
Exercise your right to say No.
Someone on my Facebook posted a quote about
not being a people pleaser because it hinders life progress. About that I did
bite my tongue because I cannot even imagine.
My personality type is loving and social
but not self depreciating. I have a healthy appreciation for my own point of
view. When I was younger I was more interested in going along to get along.
Now
I realize how lost people are. I am not saying I know everything. It just seems
like if most people have not gotten it all figured out there is no reason to
want to suck up to them.
Instead people who know me joke “tell us
what you really think” and call me confrontational. Yikes I never saw that
coming.
I did not know people live biting their tongues. I had no way of
knowing 'yes of course people are thinking it but no one says it'.
It is not a license to be mean.
It is the
freedom to live authentically.
When I am thinking mean thoughts I do keep those
to myself. I try to value everyone and not demean them. We all deserve that
respect.
One of my first toastmaster's speech was about this topic. I call it the "I'm sorry syndrome." There is the misconception that one is being humble and being a good person. That's thousands of miles from the truth. I encounter this especially with my female friends and clients. Why are you sorry for what someone else did? If you investigate those who have the habit of being apologetic when they shouldn't be, you will find lack of confidence as an issue.
ReplyDeleteThought stimulating post!
This was not even the post I planned to get written when it did. It just came bubbling out. Still I am glad it seems to have struck a cord. Yes it is a lack of confidence syndrome. So sad.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that I hear from older women, age helps. They feel much bolder, wiser and secure after years of experiences. They almost laughed me away when I tried to explain to them I feel confident now in my younger years.