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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Blah Blah Blah

I saw a disturbing movie one afternoon. It is about a girl who bottles up abuse she has suffered and how it causes her to spiral out of control.

This ladies and gentlemen might be the reason I am my own therapist:  

I did not get the Memo:  

Women please hush
Do not speak
Seen and not heard
No one wants to listen or cares

Sadly as I flit around via social media it appears too many women did. "I am sorry for posting" is a line that I have read dozens if not hundreds of times.

Sorry for posting? Why???

Posting in social media is what we are supposed to be doing. Long before everyone had picture phones what else could we do?

Now of course we all know people who talk too much. There are things that it is perfectly fine to leave unsaid. 

The old adage if you cannot say anything nice keep your mouth closed is also a beauty.

When however it comes to matters of thought and opinion, you are entitled to yours and to give them at least a moment of voice.

Maybe be choosy about who you share your ideas with. Maybe limit yourself to time or place. 

Just do not live under a gag rule.

Give yourself permission to be expressive.

You might not want to use words. 
Use pictures. 
Use color and fashion. 
Exercise your right to say No.

Someone on my Facebook posted a quote about not being a people pleaser because it hinders life progress. About that I did bite my tongue because I cannot even imagine.

My personality type is loving and social but not self depreciating. I have a healthy appreciation for my own point of view. When I was younger I was more interested in going along to get along. 

Now I realize how lost people are. I am not saying I know everything. It just seems like if most people have not gotten it all figured out there is no reason to want to suck up to them.

Instead people who know me joke “tell us what you really think” and call me confrontational. Yikes I never saw that coming. 

I did not know people live biting their tongues. I had no way of knowing 'yes of course people are thinking it but no one says it'.

It is not a license to be mean. 

It is the freedom to live authentically. 

When I am thinking mean thoughts I do keep those to myself. I try to value everyone and not demean them. We all deserve that respect.


  1. One of my first toastmaster's speech was about this topic. I call it the "I'm sorry syndrome." There is the misconception that one is being humble and being a good person. That's thousands of miles from the truth. I encounter this especially with my female friends and clients. Why are you sorry for what someone else did? If you investigate those who have the habit of being apologetic when they shouldn't be, you will find lack of confidence as an issue.

    Thought stimulating post!

  2. This was not even the post I planned to get written when it did. It just came bubbling out. Still I am glad it seems to have struck a cord. Yes it is a lack of confidence syndrome. So sad.

    The good news is that I hear from older women, age helps. They feel much bolder, wiser and secure after years of experiences. They almost laughed me away when I tried to explain to them I feel confident now in my younger years.