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Saturday, April 7, 2012


I read or heard a statistic somewhere indicating that when gathering groups together seven is all you need for conflict.

Such information could be disheartening but I choose to feel empowered. When problems are identified and understood they do not have to be so damaging. You learn a lot about people and perhaps yourself when you work in close relationship to others.
People organize groups for all kinds of reasons. They happen at work, in neighborhoods and online. My favorites these days are local groups that have an online connection for in between events.
Sometimes friends will join a group. Other times people join groups because they need friends. Innovators start groups because they want friends or to share the gift of friendship that they have.

I have perhaps done all of these things.

I lived with a geeky roommate in the late 90's. He introduced me to some local modem chatters. Perhaps a dozen of us could log into our computers together, to chat and play games etc.

Many of the members were and became friends over the weeks and months. This led to parties, outings, coffee connections, drinking, marriages, adventures, and all kinds of fun.

One weekend I met up with the group and a couple of the guys were planning a day trip to Reno. My schedule was free and I got invited along for the ride. 

All I can say about that is I prefer Vegas. Hahahaha

Parties with members were always fun. There would be people eating, dancing, sitting around talking and at least one geek on a computer somewhere.  

"Who are you talking to when most of us are here at the party?" would be the question.

Oh the fun of mixing introverts and extroverts. Sometimes it was like you were dealing with two totally different people. A user who you could type with for hours would say less than 100 words at an event.

After this group I joined a handful of moms groups. Sometimes the problem with that is where to house the group for gatherings. In good weather the park was a perfect place. Public libraries have rooms that can be reserved but that takes planning.

I have joined MeetUp since those early days of using my computer to make local friends. 

This has resulted in more adventures than friendships so far but I remain hopeful. The problem is, when the focus of a group is the activity sometimes it is hard to carve out time to really get to know everyone in the group. This is why members have to be proactive. 

The worst thing about a group is when the leader is too territorial or the assumed leader is. I ran into that very recently with a group that may or may not still be meeting.

Cracks were showing as the group splintered before I left.

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