Follow my blog with Bloglovin Get your own free Blogoversary button!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Daughters Dating

Do any words or thoughts have the potential for more dread in a parents mind? My daughter is dating! Eke

I had the big freak out a few years ago when she had her first boyfriend. She threatened to tell me less if I could not hold myself together. I was reading too much into it. I am so glad she is not more like me in this area.

There is a beauty and innocent about what I see going on between her and this young man. 

It is the same young man again here now a few years later. Thus I call him the boomerang boyfriend. They make a cute couple. She has good taste in that area like me.

In middle school although they called it going out there was still not much more than phone calls, letters and stolen moments on the school yard. 

Now it is more full on or as much as you can get with two young people without jobs or drivers licenses still living at home and attending high school.

There is more and less parental control over it all since both are utilizing charter school programs. This means they are predominantly home all day long. 

No stolen moments between classes but days and afternoons can be free game.

Truthfully I knew once she began to engage the opposite sex of her own volition there would be little I could do to keep her under a rock. Good thing that is not what I had in mind. 

The first clear thing I said to her about the idea of her being in a relationship with some random boy I did not know was that I needed to meet him.

She hesitated but I insisted. I think it is important for parents to be a presence in the relationships their teenagers have. We have heard horrific stories of other young ladies being mistreated and abused. 

I want my daughter to know not to take that, not to hide that. I also want any young man she dates to know she has parents who will not put up with ill treatment towards our daughter.

It really is a delight to be able to see my daughter taking these first steps into adulthood sharing her heart yet maintaining boundaries. 

At her age I had no boundaries. Well I did but not conservative ones. My parents did not make it easy. I went to public school but they wanted to shut down the idea of me dating anyone.
I am not always an "It" girl but there were a few guys whose eyes I caught and that was all I needed. 

I tried to let my parents be a part of what was going on. They met 2.5 of the guys I was with. I say half because they met one guy  as a guy friend not a boyfriend of mine, after catching us and trying to keep us apart.
The youth of the generations need guides and ushers through the portal into adulthood. They will get there without them but we as parents have an awesome right as well as the responsibility to walk them through. 

Clear boundaries should be set up and maintained. 

Still we cannot control chemistry. It is a negotiation to help our teens make the best choices sometimes. We want them to own the decisions not just follow orders.


  1. great post! I have sons, but I will be nervous when they get to dating age too.

    will be back to read more!


    1. I am peaking at your blogs...

      How old are your sons?

  2. Loved it! They have to live so they can make good decisions.
    MOV there's a video from Amanda Gore...

    1. That video is funny but only as it speaks to our total dysfunction as a society. I almost wrote on dysfunction for the day.

      It is complex but not rocket science, sex and relationships. How people get it so wrong is beyond me.

  3. I am on the fence about this very thing. But, I got a while before Kiddo's anywhere near ready for dating, like in 25 years.

    Happy April A2Z blogging!

    1. May you be wiser and more prepared than others have been. It is not so bad when you stay engaged and have a good kid.

  4. No way! L is in high school? I haven't seen you guys in forever! Glad to see you're doing A to Z, too. :) I'm at

    Dating is sooo scary. Parenting it scary, lol.

    1. Hahahaha and you are further along the path way than I am. You should check her out via Facebook she is all over with pictures galore! Blessings yes it is rare for us to get our to EG these days but I see your posts and think of you all out there. Happy Spring!