My life was going through all the dramas I have but eluded to in this blog thus far. I wanted someone to walk along side me and encourage me. I wanted someone wise and saved to talk to about things.
When I got to the meeting after hearing some of the other women who were also seeking mentors I thought I should forget about me and just help them. One had no mother and felt lost in the world. Another was all a fright trying to plan a wedding with no direction. Another was dealing with some hurt or tragedy. There were tears in the room. It was so sad. My journey has been frustrating and scary at times but rarely does it make me cry.
Never the less I was paired up with an older single woman. She is accomplished and a mother as well. I found out she had a teen daughter, a house and a live in roommate. My future maybe? Another thing I had wished for was that God would send me a stable roommate, babysitter/nanny and friend that would have been great too.
At the first meeting with just me and the mentor she told me she was finally coming around to the idea that maybe God wanted her to have a physical ailment she had been ignoring and trying to cope with looked at instead of just miraculously healed. It had been months if not years since the problem started. I told her I lived back home with my parents and was waiting on a husband because God had spoken to me about one.
She stiffened and said she could not stand her parents more than just knowing they were alive on the other side of the country. She further was repulsed by the idea of a ball and chain as she referred to the idea of a husband.
I should have realized then how unable this woman would be to walk with me. I thought well at least she knows where she is and is not in denial.
I wondered to myself “What if God wants to heal the relationship with her parents and it starts with her bridging the gap? What if God has a wonderful husband for her to help her so she does not have to fight the world alone and face losing her daughter and then really be all alone in another few years?”
These were questions I do not think she could even imagine much less tolerate thinking about. Never the less I can’t help but think it would be God’s heart on the matter.
Fast forward to my mother kicking me out around this time which I never thought was possible. My mentor insisted I handle it a certain way. I told her no. She told me we could not walk together if I would not obey her. WTH???
Yeah that was the end of that.