Follow my blog with Bloglovin Get your own free Blogoversary button!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The dream I had...

It was fall 2009. Our local Christian radio station 103.9 the Fish dropped by the Bible college. It was a promotion for the school as well as the station. I  won a ticket to Women of Faith for the winter. I was even more excited when I found out it was worth about $80. Some days I feel spoiled. Never mind that I was sleeping on a couch separated from my daughter for the season.
During the conference they were urging us to turn in our comment cards for a free prize.

A funny thing began to happen as I enjoyed the events however. I love respect and admire the women on the panel that travels every year but there is little to no visible ethnic diversity to their mix. Not a complaint I would usually even register. To make things worse or at least more interesting the music featured Nicole C Mullen,
Mandisa and Tiny half of Mary Mary. Tina expressed that it had been hard for her to attend wondering if white people could appreciate their music.
Why the black folks gotta be regulated to the entertainment to be on the stage also went through my head. Again for those who are tracking this was so unlike me it was odd to ponder. I went to bed the night before the forms were due and had the following dream:

I wake up on my way to the conference. For some reason I am frantic to get it in the drawing as I navigate the chaos of the event. I am all but beside myself. It is so bad I can barely focus. An usher spots me and tries to help me calm me down or even find me a quiet corner to work in.

Almost as soon as my card left my hand I am indeed being ushered into a private viewing box. It's also a sort of green room. What is going on? Just that quickly my entry has authorized my promotion. I am in the room with other people like myself.

The next thing I know it is lunch time and I am ushered in to a banquet room with a long table surrounded by chairs and filled with food. The women from the panel are seated around the table as are other well known Christian ministers. The one who sits directly across from me I shall not name. This person has faced their share of discrimination and controversy.

I have an assistant to my right side trying to help me with protocol. As the chatter goes on around the table and we begin to eat suddenly this person basically tells me to shut up. It is not that I am talking too loud or mindlessly chattering it is that I have expressed a view point they do not agree with.

I am floored and flabbergasted that anyone would tell me to shut up when I am speaking to Christian leaders and making conversation in an appropriate manner. My assistant is very agitated. I do not know if at me or the person or the situation or what. I tell my dissenter that one child of God to another they do not have the spiritual authority to hush me.

I woke up disturbed as much about who this person was as about what had happened.

What I believe is that this person represents the Christian establishment. I feel like God was telling me in this dream: "Something I do or write will promote me but not everyone will be glad when I arrive". So much for the innocent idea that other disseminatoers of the gospel would welcome those God sends in among their midst.
I never asked God to be "a mouth piece for the kingdom" as one man of God spoke over me. I just flow in who I am. It is not too much to ask that ministers respect what God does as He uses people.

Part and parcel of being a bold peculiar radical. Nothing will be different from my normal life but the date and location. I have come up against the status quo all my life putting them to shame and causing them to bristle.


  1. I grew up in a church that held the idea that God spoke only to the pastor and leaders of the church, not to the regular folk sitting in the pews. Anyone who had an idea that was different than that was called a witch (among other names) and cast out of the church.

    I'm so glad to be free of that. :)

  2. I too am glad you are free of such bondage. What hogwash. There are many strange doctrines held by various churches. As Christians we must know our Bibles and the truth of what God has for us. Amen

    Thanks for the note.