I can understand why women date older men.
Why not?
Especially if he has lived his life fairly well and is able to support himself at the same level as her or above.
They are definitely interested which is flattering. They look without leering. They take time to talk and ask questions.
An older person can be fascinating and a fresh breath of air after immature same age relationships and friends.
Sometimes May December couples get together because both are interested in the sense of adventure.
The older person wants to relive a little of their youth through their partner and the younger person is excited to hear stories and tales of experiences and subsequent theories being worked out.
I cannot imagine dating someone seriously older than me and not having at least one good discussion about the sustainability issue.
In the past I did not shy away from anyone I thought was attractive simply because we were born too far apart.
My mother called me a Daddy’s girl but I did not have a Daddy complex. I was not looking for security or trying to recreate my childhood. Instead I was just going with the flow.
Attraction is a powerful thing. If there are no boundaries or other parameters being violated I think it can be healthy. I was born outspoken and opinionated but many women take decades after puberty to get there.
This can be a nice pairing with a mature man who knows what he wants and likes to lead or be in charge. All he has to do is be himself and keep her happy.
Sometimes a woman is craving deep attention from someone old enough to give it to her. She might have grown up without or disconnected from her biological father.
There can be healing through relationship interaction.
All of us as humans need validation from a variety of individuals at different times in our lives. When we do not get that input we are driven to seek it in alternative ways as we age.
What I appreciate about the older men who alert that they are looking at me is I know they are thinking more life partner than just bed fellow.
Even when I dated a man at least in his 40’s as a very young adult he praised my body but he also enjoyed my mind.
I think older men can be calmer even as they are passionate and intense.
The good ones have learned from their mistakes and can talk honestly about things they have been through.
This kind of man is supportive and encouraging.
They want to bring the new young woman in their life up to her next level.
They encourage her to dream and fully become all she can be.
We had friends in grad school. Jules was in her early 30s and Tom was in his early 50s. They met when they were both historical reenactors in Williamsburg. Jules went away to grad school, and Tom followed. Jules finished her PhD and moved to her first job, and Tom followed. And I think they eventually got married, though we've lost touch, and I'm not sure. Anyway, they were the sweetest couple. Absolutely perfect for each other.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that. I love a sensible love story. Wild age differences do not have to mean both or either partner is not thinking. Modern day male mid life crisis antics have given the idea of older man and younger woman a bad rap.
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