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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Civility For All

Yesterday my daughter blogged about an interesting and slightly complex issue.

Who deserves respect?

When asked this way it seems like a value test that people need to pass. 

I would rather more people ask themselves: Is this behavior civil?

Where did public civility go?

The truth is probably that it has been falling apart from home for a long time.

These are the teachable moments when you realize what your kids know and what they are still missing.

The little mini me has a feisty side. It is not so much temper for tempers sake. More she is a fierce defender of what she sees as herself or her rights as well as those she cares about and loves.

These are wonderful things about her. Look out Nancy Grace my girl could grow up to give you a run for your money.

I would be delighted if she was thinking about going into law and order. It is looking like she is leaning more creative and will follow in her mother’s footsteps of community activism.

This will also be delightful. It can mean making a scene or a splash from time to time.

There might be time for heated arguments and raised voices. They should be few and far between. I do not think cursing is needed in public discourse for the purpose of advancing community and accomplishing projects.

There are the rules of social media that I am trying to instill:

Do not engage brats

Don’t assume the worst in someone’s responses

Be willing to let things go

There are on-going principles parents try to instill:

Think about your actions, the motivations and the consequences thereof.

Deal with your stuff. 

Do not operate in reactive mode based on injured or immature emotions. 

Maybe none of that seems powerful or comforting in a heated moment.

This is why the older generations are supposed to have learned these lessons and be mentoring the youth.
Sadly my daughter has not had great models all around when it comes to personal behaviors. I have controlled my home to a large degree but the real world is just outside the door.

Thankfully I do not have to say too much. Patterns of personal behavior that are ineffective present themselves clearly to all who will look and see.

A person should be able to keep a job and maintain relationships in the community. This takes common civility. Not much more and not much less.


  1. Sounds like some good advice you're trying to instill in her. I commented on her post, as well.

    1. Just doing what I can. Thanks! I hope she is excited for a little extra traffic.

  2. I'd like to copy this post and email it to my ex husband...

    1. Yikes lol. Feel free to share it with him. I used to have a StumbleUpon widget but it broke. I would love for more people to read this and understand there are rules for interaction. That leads back to my other thought "the masses of the world need therapy". It is far to easy for people to get stuck along the developmental time line and just emote immaturely for years and years.