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Monday, February 21, 2011

Surprise! Delivery Now

Have you ever heard a story about a woman who only realized she was pregnant when she went into labor?

I know for most of us who have been pregnant it sounds like complete nonsense but occasionally this strange phenomenon does take place.

One Sunday I was sitting in church around 2003. I usually take notes on the sermon but this day I started taking notes on the idea of what signs and clues would a woman in such a predicament be able to look back on and finally put together. I made another sub list of tell tale signs or clues that would have been missing further explaining the predicament.

I laid all that out just now to sort of set up where it seems I find myself in this moment. Spiritually I think I am in the delivery room. This delivery comes as a shock to me. It feels different than any other thing I might have birthed before. I feel like this delivery has epochal proportions.

My life has consisted of intense struggle since 2004. Many times I have said or thought I might be birthing something. This time I might actually be nervous going in. My flesh feels trepidation. My conscious spirit has no idea what to expect.

All I can really say is this last season of 90 plus days tho it has been tranquil in almost every way has felt as tumultuous in the spirit as those I spent living with people who did not like me in places I was praying to get out of.

The delightful thing is how God brought me to the realization of where I finally am. I was telling Him I wanted more spiritual meat or revelation. Over this weekend He led me to YouTube where I caught up on conferences from the last decade or so by women who’ve been where I want to go.

As the new information was being down loaded I blindly continued to follow trails until I got to a door way marked the Threshing Floor. I have been needing my prayer life to restart and go to the next level.

My thought had been to start going to bed at a decent hour and when I wake up at an unnaturally early hour devote that time to prayer even if it means I nap later on. If I do not nap then I can do house work, homework and online support like normal.

I wondered if God was asking me to give up my, stay up late sleep in when ever possible, lifestyle for the sake of whatever it is I need to be doing. I have an peculiar way of knowing what I do not know. lol sigh

Prayerfully this season is about to begin. Ushering me into the presence of the Almighty God. Am I acceptable like the church of Philadelphia? It is my desire.

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