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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

A Blind Date Disaster Story

I went out on one completely blind date. We were set up by a good friend of mine who worked in his building. For the date the guy and I decided to head to the local county fair. 

While there we walked and snacked, talked and laughed. The weather was good, the sights were exciting. This was a decent looking, clean cut, gentleman. I was not feeling overtly attracted but I did enjoy his company. There was one issue that I did not think was a problem that would turn out to blow up in our faces.

My daughter was not quite a year old. She could eat normal food that was soft or cut into appropriate sizes. She was also being breast fed. We were used to going places with strangers even taking public transportation. The issue was the guy was all but afraid of children.

He had this (fear) horrible idea that kids are crazy and act out all the time. 

The whole day as we walked around the fair he was amazed that my daughter was active and alert but not at all fussy. I figured this man just needed to experience well rounded parenting and he could get over being so worried and awe struck. 

We decided to head to a local restaurant for dinner as the date ended. I knew my daughter had enjoyed a full day without a nap. She had also not been eating much. I planned to feed her a little table food, nurse her while we sat chatting and have her out like a light before we even headed home.

Life however is what happens to us while we are making other plans. 

The hustle and bustle of the restaurant plus our quiet table interaction was too much of a distraction for my 11 month old to eat much or nurse at all. I tried multiple times over the course of the meal. She did not seem upset or fussy. There was all the activity to focus on and notice. 

Finally our meal was finished and it was time to head home. My date was still marveling that there had been no wild hysterics or melt downs. We strapped baby into her car seat and started to head home. Darkness had begun to set in

As soon as we were settled it was like my daughter realized she had not napped or nursed. I knew she was more tired than hungry. I hoped she might just drift off to sleep. I could not have been more wrong. What started as a fuss, became a cry and then a wail as we kept moving.

It made discussion in the car all but impossible. Plus I felt doubly bad. I felt bad for her because I understood her frustration. I felt bad for this strange man who came into our life thinking that kids were bad news. Here we were confirming his (fear) nightmare.

It was a short trip back to my house maybe 15 minutes. Of course it felt like hours. When I realized my daughter was not going to cry herself to sleep we were already well on our way. I did not want to have him pull over and sit on the side of the road so I could nurse her.

To his credit he held his composure. He even carried her car seat to the door of my apartment and delicately set it down nicely on the step. 

I did tell him A) I was sorry and B) what I thought was happening and why. Of course he never called again. I was not surprised or upset. If a crying baby can scare you away you are not that interested or you are not ready to date a single mamma.

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