Blah Blah Blah

I saw a disturbing movie one afternoon. It is about a girl who bottles up abuse she has suffered and how it causes her to spiral out of control.

 

This ladies and gentlemen might be the reason I am my own therapist:  

I did not get the Memo:  

Women please hush

Do not speak

Seen and not heard

No one wants to listen or cares

Sadly as I flit around via social media it appears too many women did. "I am sorry for posting" is a line that I have read dozens if not hundreds of times.

Sorry for posting? Why???

Posting in social media is what we are supposed to be doing. Long before everyone had picture phones what else could we do?

Now of course we all know people who talk too much. There are things that it is perfectly fine to leave unsaid. 

The old adage if you cannot say anything nice keep your mouth closed is also a beauty.

When however it comes to matters of thought and opinion, you are entitled to yours and to give them at least a moment of voice.

Maybe be choosy about who you share your ideas with. Maybe limit yourself to time or place. 

Just do not live under a gag rule.

Give yourself permission to be expressive.

You might not want to use words. 

Use pictures. 

Use color and fashion. 

Exercise your right to say No.

Someone on my Facebook posted a quote about not being a people pleaser because it hinders life progress. About that I did bite my tongue because I cannot even imagine.

My personality type is loving and social but not self depreciating. I have a healthy appreciation for my own point of view. When I was younger I was more interested in going along to get along. 

Now I realize how lost people are. I am not saying I know everything. It just seems like if most people have not gotten it all figured out there is no reason to want to suck up to them.

Instead people who know me joke “tell us what you really think” and call me confrontational. Yikes I never saw that coming. 

I did not know people live biting their tongues. I had no way of knowing 'yes of course people are thinking it but no one says it'.

It is not a license to be mean. 

It is the freedom to live authentically. 

When I am thinking mean thoughts I do keep those to myself. I try to value everyone and not demean them. We all deserve that respect.

Donate After A Fire

I was born in Solano county. I am an Air Force brat so that should tell you exactly where. Anyway I am not a crafter all these years later. I started out with crochet but now I knit. A local connection another lovely MeetUp member forwarded an email. 

My name is Cyndi Miles and I am a volunteer for the American Cancer Society in Solano County. I am also the Vacaville Relay For Life Event Co-Chair. This evening (Friday, January 13th) the building that houses our local American Cancer Field Office caught fire. Everything in it was a total loss. In that office we stored homemade hats and scarves for cancer patients. 

We also stored wigs. All of those are gone. I was hoping that you could put the word out to your knitting groups and see if anyone would be willing to help us out by making some hats and scarves to donate to us. We had over a thousand wigs and lots of hats and scarves. These services mean a lot to our patients as they are under going treatments. If you need more information, please do not hesitate to call me. 

Here is the link to the article in our local paper

I would truly appreciate any help, donations, or spreading of word you could do for me.

Sincerely,

Cyndi Miles

707-365-0999

The Sacramento office of the American Cancer Society is open 9-5 most weekdays (except holidays, like Monday, Martin Luther King birthday observance.) Call ahead to confirm they're open the day you're going over.

1545 River Park Dr Ste 100 Sacramento, California 95815

Phone: (916)-446-7933 Hours: Mon- Fri 9 to 5

I wish I knew more local crafters. My Ravelry connections are so all over the world. Not that things cannot be sent from afar. I know many of us have items on hand.

34 of 100 Great Books Read

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most Americans will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

Instructions:

• Copy this list

 • Bold the books you've read in their entirety.

• Italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read only an excerpt.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen ~

 2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien ~

 3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte ~

 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling ~

 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee *

6 The Bible

 7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte ~

 8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell ~

 9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman


 10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

  11 Little Women - Louisa Alcott *

 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller ~

  14 Complete Works of Shakespeare ~

 15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

  16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien ~

 17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

 18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger  

 19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger ~

 20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell *

 22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

 24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams ~

 27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

 28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

 29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

 30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

  31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

 32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens ~

 33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

 34 Emma -Jane Austen

 35 Persuasion - Jane Austen ~

 36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis *

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hussein ~

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres~

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden *

 40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne ~

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell ~

 42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown ~

 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

 44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

 45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

 47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood *

 49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

 51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

 52 Dune - Frank Herbert

 53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

 54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

 55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

 58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

 59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ~

 61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

 62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

 63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

 65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

 66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

 67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

 68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding ~

 69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

 70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

 71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

 72 Dracula - Bram Stoker *

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett *

 74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

 75 Ulysses - James Joyce ~

 76 The Inferno - Dante

 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

 78 Germinal - Emile Zola

 79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

 80 Possession - AS Byatt

 81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens *

 82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

 83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker *

 84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro ~

 85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

 87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White  *

 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom ~

 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

 90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

 91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

 92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

 93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

 95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

 96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

 97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

 98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

 100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Take that BBC! I love my country and even like the old country but not for it's opinions about us or it's entertainment UGH lol

We can agree on a love of tea as long as it is not earl grey.

I * starred books I have seen movies of and ~'s ones I have at least heard of or maybe wanted to read.

A Dating Adventure

Oh the things my high sense of adventure, single status and no fear of meeting strangers gets me into. 

Here is a story from an adventure I had last year:

I went speed dating with some geeks from MeetUp. There were no romantic expectations. I had no idea who would show up wearing what. The following are highlights:

Even for an extrovert speed dating might be a bit over whelming. Maybe there were too many, maybe it works better if there is more screening???

One guy sat down and he had on a Google shirt. I asked him if he worked there he said no he is a Trekky masquerading as an IT tech. Sense of humor, check!

Another guy noticed I have my finger nails each painted a different color. Which the gal near me said matched the colors on the Google shirt. 

I held out my hands and then he asked if I also had my toes painted random colors too. I had on sandals and yes my toes are all painted different colors as well. To see them under the table he had on his belt a handy little flash light. LOL

We women were given a list of questions to help get or keep conversations rolling. They ran the gambit let me tell you.

A classic question was Star Wars or Star Trek. Which got the standard answers one, the other or BOTH why not? lol

A silly one was “What is your favorite font?” Which got strange looks...

One that became a favorite was “Name the top three super powers in order of importance?” This one always advanced the conversation.

Apparently if you have read the right book series you know the meaning of life..and everything is 42…hahahaha

I found the group to be very well traveled if at all.

Two younger guys sat playing chess all but oblivious to the goings on around them through all the switching. Finally when it was over they came to sit and chat with me and the gal seated next to me.

The younger of the two wants to create artificial intelligent life. We discussed religion and evolution which intimidated two other guys around us. Maybe they would have preferred we have our discussion in Klingon.

It was an enjoyable ending to a fun silly event. The turn out was nice about 50 of us and only a few more men than women.

I am surprised they are not as excited seeming about Speed Dating for Book Lovers scheduled for next month.

Is Reality TV Rigged

As a person who does not at all like sitcoms it might come as a surprise that I love reality tv. I will not watch the ones filled with fights and drama by people with too much money or whom have let the fame go to their heads.

This leaves things like Big Brother, the Bachelor series’, other dating shows, shows on real estate and job seeking etc.

So it is Bachelor season again and the Bachelor is Ben. I liked Ben...but last nights episode was really off putting to me. Too artsy fartsy maybe. Supposed analytical blogger Jennifer was like a bad joke.

It was a conversation from the Millionaire Matchmaker where are they now that had me thinking tonight. One of the daters was talking about how the producers had been nudging the date along behind the scenes. 

I never get that sense watching the show. People seem to connect or repel each other naturally. No kisses seem forced or if they do it is clearly one sided not something they are both doing to put on a good show.

Still tonight when Blakely got the rose I had this thought: What if one of the things the producers do even with full knowledge of all the contestants is rig who gets roses.

So say for instance the real instruction is, to drive viewership and a perceived story line or even to keep the daters guessing, give the rose to someone controversial or that you maybe do not even like. Make sure to give a rose to the contestants you really want to stay for the long haul but play up what people think you are going to do not how you really feel.

That would explain differently how Bachelors and Bachelorettes can seem so clueless about the horrible character of a potential partner when every other person in the house sees what they are doing so clearly. It might also help explain why some contestants just seem to fly under the radar and suddenly pop up out of nowhere.

For those of you who have been watching this series does that put a whole new spin on the whole Brad & Michelle Money fiasco??? 

UGH that was a nightmare to watch. I do not know what I find worse a woman trying to dominate a relationship or the men who allow it. I wanted to reach through my screen and tell him to grow a pair and get her out of there.

Still I did not have to look away and hit mute for season 15 like I did last night.

Does anyone remember Who wants to marry a millionaire from 2000? Sometimes I cannot believe people actually get on television without thinking it through...

If I hear another residential reality contestant talking about how hard it is and how much they are missing their family. >Gag< Get over yourselves and buck up! No it is not a cake walk. No you cannot go home and sleep in your own bed every night.

Local Coffee

I want to start a non Starbucks coffee MeetUp. I need to see if my favorite coffee houses want to sponsor it. I would love to meet some of their other customers as well as some at home roasters.

MeetUp is offering a January special ½ off dues for organizers. This just sweetens the pot.

Loving my insulated French Press and Burr grinder from Temple Coffee. Their brews are just rich intense and impressive. I was smitten the first time I wandered in. I order usually simple brewed coffee that I add sugar, cream and sometimes powdered chocolate to.

That day I am convinced I tasted fruity high lights in my strong coffee. It was like an adventure in tea. Still it was a strong coffee. I was confused and delighted all at once.

Next up I discovered Coffee Works with their rich history, roasters and pastries. I drop in there from time to time. They had home roasting machines and unroasted beans last time I was there. I just was not quite ready to take the plunge. 

Chocolate Fish what is this java from down unda coffee house of which you speak? Can you say posh and paid parking??? Hahahaha

My first blended drink was at a Pete’s. On father’s day a few years ago the church I was attending was giving out coffee cards to all the dads. I saw an usher still had some in his hand as the sanctuary was empty. 

I approached him and asked if I could have one since I do double duty as a single mom. He blessed me with a card and I decided to splurge and see what the blended drink craze was all about.

My first French Press I bought at World Market one day when they advertised a sale on them for $10. I accidentally broke the glass a few months later. 

I have had a couple since then. Bits and pieces of them linger around my kitchen. I love not having a coffee maker. I heat water on the stove in a pot. I add grounds and spices for 4 minutes with the heat off. I add the liquid to the press and push down the filter.

Piping hot coffee with a kick usually. Cinnamon, cloves and a splash of ginger.

I have been to Jericho coffee and I love Java City brews.

What I really hope to check out next is Origin Coffee and Tea in Rocklin which is a coffee house on a mission. You can work for free there and support them in their endeavor to damper out the sex slave industry.

Could that make you feel good or what?

There used to a be an It's a Grind right near me but it close down. Perk! I just drove by one that all things considered might have to be my go to as soon as I can get a chance to get over there. 

Last but not least the man who had a vision long before Starbucks and McDonalds made it chic cool, Cyber Java. Gus is amazing and makes Mediterranean food along with more common meals and pastries.

Has anyone heard of Bean Heads? Do you have to be a cigar fan to enjoy their ambiance?

MeetUp is Fun

I started meeting people from on line in person back in the 90’s. One of the first things people started to say to me besides “Isn’t that dangerous?” was “Wow, you are the same in person as you are on line.”

This struck me as odd but I have come to realize maybe I am and the statement is much more true  than most realize.

Anyway I am still an excitable people person who transitions easily from the internet to the coffee shop or where ever else people like to gather.

This year so far I have been to four events via the web site MeetUp.com. MeetUp was started after 911 as a way of helping people get out from behind their computers screens and connect all while using the internet to get connected.

Hahahahaha

A brilliant idea! Before Al Gore created the internet (can you say hoax), computer geeks could use their modems to talk to one others’ computers using programs that created what were called Bulletin Boards or BBS.

Those of us who remember those years before unlimited Metro PCS cell phone coverage will remember busy signals. Having your home phone calling another computer meant nothing else could get through. 

Equally limiting was the fact that most users could also only host one another connection at a time. In those days Sacramento had access to a BBS that could host a bunch of us at a time. It was like having a local chat room. People joined by word of mouth. Couples and singles, singles to couples, old and young, male and female.

Many times members were friends before or became friends through the connections and eventually it led to regular meetings and events during the week. While I was pregnant with my daughter they were doing a Saturday morning coffee and then meeting at a local bar on Saturday nights.

Before my first meeting with the group I started to wonder how to spot a group of people whom I had never met. A wise long time user said to me “Look for a group of people that are clearly together who do not otherwise look like they belong together.” lol

That advice was totally spot on. Current day MeetUp groups are not always so random or at least that I have found. Maybe it is also that I have a knack for trying to fit in when I want to and knowing the audience I plan to present myself to when I go out if possible.

There is nothing else on my calendar just yet but so far this year I have been out skating in Rancho Cordova, Crafting and out to dinner in Natomas, plus now to the movies at Ethan. As 2011 was ending I went to brunch twice, knitting twice as well, two events fell through but I had already made some interesting connections.