Follow my blog with Bloglovin Get your own free Blogoversary button!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Curmudgeons Among Us

Have you ever met a curmudgeon? 

What do you do when you meet someone bitter and miserable? 

I find myself mostly immune to their darkness. 

I try to bring a little light and levity.
It becomes a problem when they would rather be disaffected than participate in growth.

There was a guy in a group I was in once. He would mumble under his breath and make little snide comments.
 
One day a fun exciting single mom joined the group. Someone else in the group introduced her to me and we became quick chums. 

She called me the following to ask me all about the new people she was meeting. We chatted and she mentioned she had encountered the curmudgeon. 

That is not what she called him. He had a name. He even had a soft side apparently. A bond was struck between them and a relationship ensued. 

We were all shocked in the group. No one could have imagined the disaffected guy getting a girl much less a seemingly great one.

The couple continued to see each other and interact with the group. What happened next just sticks with me. 

I was young. 

I had no expectations. 

Slowly this new woman began to realize the type of reputation her new boyfriend had in the group she had joined. Her persona was so completely opposite it began to be disturbing for her. 

She tried to help polish him up and mend broken down fences.

The boyfriend did not make this easy. I felt so badly for my new friend I tried to get involved. 
I struck up a conversation with him one day. 

Why do you act this way?

Can’t you just be nice to people? 

I could only imagine he was just giving people a hard time. I thought he just needed someone to remind him that it was his choice to be in our association. 

He said something so crude and rude to me I stopped talking to him and that takes a lot! He told me he did not care at all about anyone but himself basically… 

Not being one to waste time on people who do not want to be helped I told him there was then nothing more we needed to say to each other.

As the weeks and months went by the girlfriend waged the losing public perception war. They even got married. He and I remained estranged. I mean I was at the wedding and I know how to be pleasant for decencies sake. He knew however that things were not the same.
I did not think any more about it or miss him little comments. Never the less my new friend swore that in his time with her it was breaking his heart. He misses your friendship and he is sorry she would tell me.

Then he could tell me that himself I always countered and that never happened. Eventually the couple divorced. He tried to claim the marriage never happened. Not that it was invalid but that it never took place. 

The only problem with that is guess who witnessed the wedding? The people in the group with us that he said he really did not care anything about. 

Many were probably only there for her. Still we had real hope that they would last and be happy.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Time Out For A Mom


As a mom, to all the Mothers, Bless you.

Take care of you.

Relax.

Have some fun today. 
It is your day. 

It will be what you make it. 

Newer moms probably do not feel this way.

It is a mentality to put on.

My daughter has been busy preparing for today. She would be great as my secretary but she resists...

She bought and mailed or delivered Mother’s day cards to the other moms she knows. My note and gift of earrings were delivered this week.

She has a good heart and a keen eye this girl, with a generous spirit to boot.


She makes me proud and it is a joy to experience her.

I remember growing up as a child and knowing I wanted to become a mommy one day.

Mother’s day of 1996 I was pregnant.

It felt a little weird to celebrate as I stood on the edge of this great adventure.

Being a mother has given me a deeper and perhaps more full appreciation of my mother. 

It has done much to repair the damage that occurred in our relationship when I went through my teenage years.

In days of old with the little bit of family gathered around Mother’s day would mean going out to dinner or gathering in someone’s home to eat and share. This year instead I am hosting a new mom and baby.

The guests will not be home. I am headed to church and then the grocery store. My daughter is headed to see her step mother’s family. 

We are a modern day disjointed group.
It works for us because we are home daily together. It would be different and more a time to regroup if we did not see as much of each other during the normal weeks and day to day.

My fellow single Mammas will have to find ways to make the day special for themselves.

There is a new and unused personal smoothie maker in the house. 
There are already frozen berries in the freezer. I just need to add yogurt to the shopping list.

Can you tell I have a sweet tooth? 

Maybe it is the heat.

Now that I think about grocery shopping, splurging on flavored coffee comes to mind.

I have never made myself a caffeinated blended drink but the new smoothy maker can handle ice if I am not mistaken…

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Tupperware Rocks and Clicks


I grew up with Tupperware products. My mother being a west coast transplant probably got invited to parties through work or church.

I never went to a party and had no idea what I was missing. After I grew up and moved out I realized the kitchen items I grew up with were nowhere to be found. 

I had no idea everyone did not have a bacon keeper, bread keeper and air tight canister set.

When I found out Tupperware was then only sold through the home party plan I decided to give it a whirl. I joined by hosting my first party. I needed to earn the money to get my first kit of products and materials. It was also a great way to advertise my new business to family friends and neighbors.
  
The party went reasonably well. I was well on my way to becoming a Tupperware lady. I learned a lot. I enjoyed bringing joy and knowledge to my customers as well as a quality product. 

Eventually I had a whole collection of favorite and well used items in my home. 
 
That went on for quite a while and I even promoted to manager status by adding a few sales people to my team. 

It was a challenge as a single mother with no car to travel with such bulky items on public transportation. Eventually my party chain ended and I let the business go. 

Tupperware had not yet at that time embraced the idea of internet sales. I knew that would eventually be an every day party of the business model. 

I could see the power and potential of point click sold from the very early moments of getting online.

As convenient as that is there is nothing like a fun knowledgeable Tupperware rep at someone’s house with people you know preparing quick yummy healthy food with the products. 

A fellow student invited me to her party this afternoon. We had a blast!

We ate:

Guacamole
Salsa
An Omelet
Seasoned Baked Chicken
Pineapple Upside Down Cake

These items were all made fresh and on site for our sampling and enjoyment.  

I ordered a lettuce keeper. We need to eat more salads. On my wish list are the cookbooks. 

I did not date a party but I would not mind coming to yours if you want to join the party chain. 

I am sure my new representative will love the sales if there are some items people want from near or far. You can find the sales catalog under her link here. 

 If you have older deteriorating lids or containers this is a time to take advantage of the Tupperware life time guarantee. 

I can find a way/place to host a get together if people are interested in coming to see what is new. 

We could do something unusual. Order online and schedule the party for the date the products will arrive. 

So then it is a reveal and delivery get together rather than a see what is new and order event. 

Oh the fun of working your own business. It is only limited by the creative minds involved.

If you have never seen a Tupperware event you should plan to change that. 
 
Booking parties means gifts & earning items.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Fearlessness


Back in the mid 90’s I once created an online community. It was a call out to women who felt a little odd, misunderstood or under appreciated in their lives and society.

I wanted to reveal some secrets I had no one else to discuss them with. I wanted to prove I was not alone. Instinctively I knew it. An online group seemed like a perfect place to find and be found. 

I spent time seeking out members to invite that I thought could appreciate the subject matter of the group. I advertised the group and monitored who was allowed to join. It was not a complete dictatorship but I believe in having a firm grip at the helm.

Especially when trying to set up a safe place for people to share and grow it is important to cut down on riffraff and distraction that might try to thwart progress.

These things just occur naturally to me and seem to flow when other things are aligned. Weeks and months went by. The group grew to over 100 members. I was delighted. Daily we would log in to share thoughts and information.

After a while a member began calling me their Fearless Leader. No one could have been more shocked or amused than yours truly. I did not even see myself as a leader at the time. 

I just thought I had a nice idea and the inclination to push it forward. Instead the group members were recognizing that I had a voice and perspective on the world and life as we saw it.

They were really grateful to me for setting up a place where they felt welcomed to come and share. Some of our conversations were shocking and a bit racy. 
Mostly they were deep and heart felt. Many said they had never felt free to reveal deep things about themselves before or so warmly and decently accepted upon doing so.

Many were also afraid to speak such deep truths about themselves outside of the group. This too amazed me. My reason for starting an online group was not for fear of discussing things or meeting people in person.


I remember two of the women who I met because they were local. Both were young like me and in relationships while I was single with a daughter and hoping to find love. 

Both were budding entrepreneurs. That is something I still have yet to do. I saw myself as equal to the members who joined the group.

Never the less label stuck.

Fearless Leader

It was amusing because I am far from fearless. There are certainly things that scare me. Just not many of the things that scare other people especially women. 
Are you fearless or is something holding you back?

Monday, May 7, 2012

It Was Fun AtoZ

Last month I was signed on to do the second Ultimate Blog Challenge of the year.

With spring arriving and new challenges a foot I made a list of my own prompts thinking that would help put me ahead of the game. Right before April began I ran across the A t Z Challenge.

Could I do both? I wondered. I decided to find out. Indeed I did both. It went very well. Somehow that little bit of pre-prep gave me a new boost even though I did not end up using more than a few of them.

What I really loved about the AtoZ Challenge was that when viewers came over from their they said hello. Viewership increased as did follower count. It does not feel tit for tat. It feels genuine.

The influx was not outrageous. Comments were all very thoughtful. 

I read my share of participating blogs and commented on a few as well.

Maybe it could have felt more connected if the Facebook group had been discovered before nearly the end.

Visiting the page to see if there was a completion badge, I discovered that today was an official day to post a wrap up about the challenge.
The thought of posting one had crossed my mind.

Some interesting things happened last month in terms of interaction. Viewership was either equal or predictable. Some posts that were not as popular to the masses really drew out comments interestingly enough. 

Only 9 have no comments and of those many were not advertised because of when they were posted.

I hope my viewers learned something or feel a little better about themselves if they have spent any length of time reading what I wrote. 

My goal is to share, enlighten, and inform with wit, grace and humility.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Celebrate Honesty

A day for honesty.

Wow just when you think you have heard it all. Yesterday I started hearing it was National Honesty Day.

I can’t be mad at that except that we need it. OUCH

I wonder if it really caused any real truth and intimacy to go forward. I would love to think so. Reality seems to dictate that it probably did not.

People get locked into patterns and start to believe their own versions of truth and false reality. 
They forget the lies they have told. They get used to the interactions that are shallow and manipulative.

Just writing  that makes me want to take a shower. Then it makes me wonder about my connections and relationships. 

I want to believe none of them are living a false life. Although in this day and age I do not think anyone can make that blanket statement over everyone they know.

Too many people melt down or explode out of nowhere. Maybe that is slipping into other issues. One does not have to be a liar to have life put the screws to them and crack under pressure.

On the subject of honesty I am all for it. I find no reason to lie. Notice I did not say reasons. There can be no situational ethics when it comes to letting one’s life be clear. I find it instead always better to have truth on the table from the start.

If I do not like something I say so. If someone asks me a question I tell them what I really think. When I am wrong I can admit it to others and accept it for myself. 

It is good that I feel this way. I would hate to fight the battle of life on two fronts. With my bold expression I get in enough trouble speaking truth others are afraid to release.

Situationally there are times for tact and the holding back of harshness. I do not run around trying to hurt people’s feelings. I would rather not be in relationship with someone than make them cry or fight all the time because we disagree and can’t work together well.

Other times I know people are doing the best they can. In such times my best move is to simply walk alongside them setting a good example. People are taking notice of others as they live. If you care enough about yourself and them to be honest, over all they will appreciate you.
People want authenticity.

It does take thoughtful work and mental toughness. I encourage you to pull on repressed resources. Take a bold step up into another dimension. You cannot imagine what there is to gain.

I wrote a post a while back about the opposite. It pertains to the story of a girl who instead of revealing truth was holding in a painful secret. It almost destroyed her life. 

What is dishonesty killing or stifling in your sphere of influence? 

Is there anyone you know in self-destruct mode?